“La felicidad consiste en poner de acuerdo tus pensamientos, tus palabras y tus hechos”. GANDHI
Esta es la esencia de la coherencia, en ella reside nuestra verdad, nuestra paz interior, el bienestar y nuestra felicidad.
Es un principio que se vincula a la armonía, a la integridad y a la credibilidad, eres creíble y confiable en la medida que tus actos, tu tono y tus gestos sean armónicos con tus palabras y tus pensamientos. En otras palabras, cuanta mayor coherencia haya entre nuestro pensar, nuestro sentir y nuestras acciones alcanzarás más equilibrio, bienestar y paz.
En inglés, coherencia es consistency (consistencia), mientras que, en español, la palabra proviene del latín cohaerentia que significa cohesión o relación entre una cosa y otra.
Para adentrarnos más en el tema, te invito a detenerte un momento para pensar en cómo te has sentido luego de pensar de una forma, sentir de otra y hacer otra muy distinta a lo pensado y lo sentido, eso es incoherencia.
Y la falta de coherencia es uno de los aspectos que más inciden en nuestras relaciones, con nosotros mismos, con los demás y con el entorno. La incoherencia es la puerta a la desconfianza, a la duda, a la decepción y la frustración, a través de ella te sumerges en un espacio de pérdida, de sinsentido en la vida, pues cada vez te alejas más de la integridad.
La coherencia es pues, la congruencia entre lo que piensas, lo que dices, lo que sientes y lo que haces. Un equilibrio tan importante que Hipócrates lo resumió en una sola frase, para él, “Si el hombre fuese uno no sufriría”. Sufrimiento por lo que pudo haber sido y no se permitió que fuera.
Nos pasa cuando nos comunicamos, muchas veces no nos explicamos porque no logramos el puesto de trabajo para el cual nos entrevistaron, o porque no logramos convencer a nuestro equipo de trabajo de nuestras ideas, o porque no logramos persuadir a nuestros hijos sobre una acción, y la clave de todo radica en la coherencia.
No logramos entender que muchos mensajes pierden su eficacia o confunden por la forma en que lo transmitimos, porque no tomamos conciencia de los gestos o el tono de voz que acompañaron esas palabras.
Y es que si no existe una coherencia entre lo que decimos, la posición y disposición del cuerpo en el momento de expresarlo, más el tono de voz, el mensaje sencillamente no llegará.
Se trata de hacer conscientes los movimientos de nuestro propio cuerpo, pues solo así lograrás una mayor coherencia en la comunicación. Es buscar ser consistentes e íntegros para alcanzar el bienestar.
Pero ¿cómo logras ser coherente? La buena noticia es que la coherencia es una cualidad que puedes desarrollar poniendo en práctica determinadas acciones, por ejemplo:
· Toma a una persona congruente como modelo. Fija tu norte en aquellas personas que son ejemplo de congruencia y coherencia, conversa con ellas si son cercanas, lee sus biografías y sobre cómo forjaron su filosofía de vida. La idea es que con el modelaje procedas a emular a las personas virtuosas, detectar sus virtudes para luego hacerlas tuyas.
· Atento a tus emociones. Tómate el momento para evaluar y detectar los disparadores de tus emociones, cómo actúas ante determinadas personas y circunstancias. Enfócate en ti, en tus emociones, no en lo demás. Ten en cuenta que si quieres propiciar un cambio, debes comenzar en ti, de adentro hacia afuera.
· Detecta las señales contradictorias. Haz conciencia sobre la forma cómo expresas lo que piensas, sientes y en cómo actúas. Si detectas contradicciones continuas es una señal de que debes abocarte a resolverlo, un buen momento para apoyarte en ayuda profesional que te guíe y oriente para que el principio de la coherencia sea lo que rija en tu vida.
· Hazte responsable de tus actos. Una persona coherente es aquella que se hace responsable de lo que dice y hace, busca siempre la solución y no se enfoca en el problema, de allí que son percibidas como confiables y despiertan admiración y respeto. Ten siempre presente que solo tú eres el responsable de tu vida, de tus pensamientos, de las palabras que salen de ti y de cómo actúas.
· Establece tu escala de valores. Para ser coherente y saber qué decisión y rumbo tomar, es necesario tener tu propia escala de valores. Son los valores como la ética, la moral, la honestidad, entre otros, los que establecerán los límites en términos de tu coherencia personal.
· Mantente dispuesto a rectificar. Todos cometemos errores, es algo inevitable, pero en vez de reprocharte y frustrarte, debes aprender a rectificar, enmendar y aprender de los errores.
Ser coherente conlleva a trabajar en ti para armonizar todo tu ser, lo bueno y lo malo, nuestras virtudes y errores, tus fortalezas y debilidades.
En el momento que nos aceptamos tal cual somos, imperfectos, impetuosos, impulsivos y que a veces actuamos distinto a como pensamos, nos estamos reconociendo como humanos, y a partir de allí, lo que corresponde es tomar la decisión de mejorar y establecernos el principio de la coherencia como norte.
Y tú, ¿cuán coherente estás siendo en tu vida? ¿Te interesa trabajar en ello?
Por: Jenny La Rotta
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